In keeping with the theme of peculiar patents we turn our attention to ‘firsts’ of another kind.
We remember the first plane flight, the first man to walk on the surface of the moon.
Even the longest fart.
Apologies, the most extended flatulent.
Records are made to be broken or so we are told. Indeed many agree with the sentiment.
When asked why he, George Mallory, decided to climb Everest, he replied….
Because it’s there.
George Mallory
It puts me in mind of an old episode of Jeremy Clarksons’ Motorworld.
In an episode from Iceland a man made a statement regarding why they were building cars to deliberately try to climb nearly vertical hills.
The land exists as a sort of challenge, it’s put there to challenge us, to test us. We must accept.
Random Icelandic Bad-ass
So who exactly was the first person to throw themselves headfirst off a bridge, or eat dinner & the dishes?
With this I present to you an 8 part series –
Dem Big Feats
When old Leo Of Vinci set down to sketch his idea for flotation shoes in the 15th Century, we would like to imagine that not even a mind as brilliant as his would imagine that a 38 year old Frenchman by the name of Remy Bricka would leave the Canary Islands with his own fibreglass shoes some 500 years later.
This is precisely what happened when ole Remy set off for the Caribbean with a small raft in tow carrying some essentials.
What were the essentials?
No there wasn’t a baguette you racist fuck.
Lol.
He had in the raft a sextant, fishing tackle, compass, and de-salinators for fresh water.
After an astonishing 5,636 km at an average of 80km a day, Remy was the first person to walk across the Atlantic. He was picked up off of Trinidad.
Some have called it upright rowing, but nonetheless, my dude walked across an ocean, that’s no easy feat.
With this piece I do hereby conclude this series, I am working on the Sausages Of The World articles right now so some will be published soon and others later, then we will complete the Become A Superhero series as well as Peculiar Patents.
To all new subscribers, welcome, I am just now getting back into the swing of things with all the new adjustments WordPress has made, I will be sure to give thanks very soon.
Look out for that.
Aight, peace and chicken grease homies.
THE NECROMANCER 