In keeping with the theme of peculiar patents we turn our attention to ‘firsts’ of another kind.
We remember the first plane flight, the first man to walk on the surface of the moon.
Even the longest fart.
Apologies, the most extended flatulent.
Records are made to be broken or so we are told. Indeed many agree with the sentiment.
When asked why he, George Mallory, decided to climb Everest, he replied….
Because it’s there.
George Mallory
It puts me in mind of an old episode of Jeremy Clarksons’ Motorworld.
In an episode from Iceland a man made a statement regarding why they were building cars to deliberately try to climb nearly vertical hills.
The land exists as a sort of challenge, it’s put there to challenge us, to test us. We must accept.
Random Icelandic Bad-ass
So who exactly was the first person to throw themselves headfirst off a bridge, or eat dinner & the dishes?
With this I present to you an 8 part series –
Dem Big Feats
When widowed schoolteachers decide to become famous, they usually do it in less fantastic ways than throwing themselves over a waterfall in a barrel. However that is precisely what Annie Edson Taylor did, an American.
On her 46th birthday which took place in 1901 on the 24 October she stepped out of a rowing boat and into an oak pickle barrel, you will please forgive my lack of visual media accompanying this piece, space is something of an issue on Word-depressed.
Where was I?
Oh yes, she stepped out of a rowing boat onto or rather into an oak pickle barrel, I just realized that I can just link an image or some shit, Imma figure out how to do that best. Give ya boi some time, a few days perhaps.
Anyways…..
She got into the damn barrel and threw herself over the falls, big whoop, she survived partly because the interior had been padded with a mattress and the bottom weighed down with a god-damn anvil lol.
At around 4:05 pm Annies’ friends were treated to possibly one of the funniest sights and situations when they set her, their friend lol, off toward Horseshoe Falls and over the edge.
Lmfao.
She plummeted 54m approximately 58 yards for you Americanos.
Other friends of an equally crazy disposition then fished the bruised but well Annie from the barrel. Giving her a title that will definitely be quite the tale around the dinner table.
“I ever tell ya bout the time I went over Niagara Falls in a barrel?”
“Dad!”
“Grandma’s dementia is acting up again, this time she said she went over Niagara in a barrel”
Thanks for reading Yo.
THE NECROMANCER 